why sia. really eh. friends issue always fuck me up. JAs & clique. idk what to say. that benjamin and dominick -.- . tony ley. got jovi. become inseperable. fuck.. FUCK LA. Srsly. i think that i ought to be more social. really. dont give a fuck. live w/o anyone. yeah. fuck. FCUK. FUCK -,- -'- sua. Knnbccb

Boring yesterday, practically rotting at home whole day. :x.
thanks Aaron for the movie anyway :)

and yeah , i dont know what wrong with me. seriously, you guys may think i'm weird or whatever fuk.but doyou guys ever put yourself in my postition and think from my point of view? yeah. i'm just being used for all of your entertainmen. i'm sure about that. need me, find me. dont need me, just throw me aside. thanks a million. really . whats the fuck is wrong with me. FK. seriously. i think i have mental issues. FML. FML . Fuck you. Why do i keep thinking? why ? Fuck.. i really need to let my frustration. why am i always the second , or maybe last? why why why?FK. yeah. use me for all you can now. cause someday. i;m gonan fuck your life upside down SO badly. but, now. i will just emo like a fuker.

444th Post.
lol. guess that it's gonna be another day rotting at home? hais. kinda sad now, idk why also. shouldnt supposed to feel like this. but , i dont know why too. i know i love you, you dont know i love you. i want to tell you how i feel, but i dont know how to tell you how i feel about you. damn. Nothing is the same anymore. those who know me will know. i'm not the old me. i emo now, i get upset easily, i get angry easily, i get jealous easily. last time, all of this doesnt bother me at all. i would just laugh and laugh everyday. maybe i've grown up. feelings are shown more forcefully. but wheres my Guts? the guts to tell you i love you. but. i know it's one sided only. i'm kinda happy that for some time in my life, friends are there for me. but, now ? idk how to say too. but i've got a feeling that we've drift. all of us , yes. but i need you more than anything . too bad, i don have the courage to tell you :( hope that someday i do, and when that time comes, it would be two sided . :X lets hope so , right?

re-reading all my past blog posts make me so happy. but.. alot have changed.

WOW! Thanks LotS! for treating me like a fool and idiot! love TTM sia! ♥ THANKS :D

idk. but i think its best this way.

feeling depressed now .

been reading people blog as maple is down. Was kinda happy that at least we all shared some memories together. however, things have totally change, didnt it? i dint even know when it all started. by those one or twopeople. then. it all changes.. majorly depressed. i dont know where i stand, why i exist for. what am i doing. waht i am to everyone. yeah,i know . people would probably say, ohh. emo again. heckcare. nah.i'm not emoing. it's just my thoughts. really kinda wish to enjoy this holiday.but well. impossible right? haha. actually i'm still kinda surprised that you guys would even talk to me. lol. anyway. yeah. continue to be hermit crab^x^

seriously, i think its kinda idiotic la. not you but the things you do, er, you say you wanna work? ask me find. ok. then say no money. ok. BUt you no money still can go out siol?! ask you when find, never reply. wth? dont want find tell me la. dont like sixian ley. wtf. why also got things let me feel like a idiot. -.- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. nvm.

feel like we've drifted, friends from secondary one and all. kinda saddening. but this is life , isnt it? seperations. stuffs. hope that all wil be better .

today i'm talking about love.
if you think that this is nonsense.then please. get out of my blog.

well. i think that relationship are just crap.i mean , well . you are happy and loved in a relationship. but seriously. do you guys ever see blogs of those who're in a relationship? there would be iloveyou.imissyou.iloveyouforever. blahblahblah.yeah, it's kinda sweet. but when they breakup. well it turns into hate words. i mean wtf? saying iloveyou forever and when you guys breakup, after a few months, both parties have new bf/gf and the whole cycle restart. -.- and i think that those who are over dependant on relationship are kinda naive. please. be independant. so what if the guy or girl leaves you? plenty of other good catches out there. yeah. feeling is important, but no point clinging on to someone who doesnt love you back. seeing things at same level is important too. else conflict would be endless.quarreling over small matters. and ohyes.i hate those people who love someone alot for a moment. and when the feeling fades. he/she start to see each other as an eyesore. wtf ? please. dont be so childish.can still be friends . -.- . okay. go back to rotting in maple. .. no life kid. yeah i know.

gahhhh, stayed at hommee the whoooleeeee day. wtfzxz. wanted to go out to buy Stuffs in the morning. went there. then see the shop haven open. was thinking to myself. eh wierd ley. then i realized casue it's only 8am in the morning. super dumb la.-.- went home. rooted infront of the computer for 12 hours , eh nono , 15 hours. WTF?! :P wednesday outing cancel. is like wtf. -.- hais. nevermind. tomorrow maybe going out. hope that i'll have the mood to go? lol. not mood actually , is money! LOL! i think i have enough, do i? er, yeah, i think i have. lol. that's all? i think. haha. kinda happy with it this way too. seriously. not involving in stuffs. but observing as a bystander. Karma dude .KARMA

LOL!
maplemaplemaple.!
i;m no maple addict! :x
haahahah.
kinda found something i dont have.

HEYYOOO!!!

LOL! feeling so happy for no reason today?! it's good , ain't it?!! HAHAHAH!

yeah, pictures of Maple and Blackshot. Though i'm gonna update something interesting right?! :P LOL! i'll! next week when i go out !! :D What more can you expect from a guy blog?! :P

ok, one decent post . okay?
try laa :D

ok, recently , i'm into maple AGAIN.
0,0 but now i'm playing bootes :D
heheh. i'm not addicted to it ! *cross fingers*
kindness makes people smile.
for example , in maple. sometimes, while walking about, ramdom characters would offer to train you. such small acts seriously do put a smile to my face :D it's like, knowing people still care and notice you.
not that i'm saying in reality no one cares.
fact is , i dont even care those who dont care about me ! right?
why bother looking for trouble and disappointment? :D
went F&N practical yesterday.
sweeettt! lolol . makes me worry if i would still be able to see Mrs Koh next year, kinda use to her nagging all these aye?
went home after that. borrinng . ><
wanted to go out today.
woke up, feeling so damn moody.
rainy day, caught a flu!!! damnn!
and there's O level chinese tomorrow ! argh!
good luck to those taking O level chinese uh!

back to maple again:D
lol. anything message me :D

we drifted.
we sepearted.
where's all the promises?
lies.

i feel that i've change. not for the bad, but for the better:D


friend uh!!
organise outing leyyy!
so borrrrinng.or worrk !
lets find work together before the O level students find work too!

xNeurons :D
maple is sseriouslly so full of idiots

this Holiday is so freaking boring.
wanna go out.
work.
..-.-

why do humans have to grow old ?
why can't we stay 18 forever ?
why can't we be happy everyday?
why can't we get what we want?
why can't be friends with everyone?
why can't we have lots of money?

i really fear that one day, when i;m old , while recalling the past, i would regret my actions.
love you guys alot. T_T nooo, please. do experiments on me to let me be immortal

fugg, i wan a job so badly. arghh. recently, everything have been irritating to me. waht happened to them ?! zzz. nevermind. i dont give a damn anymore too. as time passs, i can see how each people react to you. LOL. it's alright. i don't need all of you if you guys are like that._. i bet you guys wil see that i always say it's alright. cause it's the only thing i can say. friends come and go to you. yes, i can see that. how i wish i could secure a spot in your heart. Impossible

wishful thinking.
afterall it's just my own wishful thinking.

Chapter 1 : Converting pain into Hatred

fuck promises.
break them all , ya ?
fuck. i hate to do it too.
but i think it's the best ? dont' you. heckcare

yeah , yeah. feeling so fucking used. screw you fuck . it's alright. seriously. i don't feel angry. but just irritated. because, someday, someday . just when you thought everything is over. you'll never know what hit you. so hardd :D

Moved my blog back to the old link already. lol . it's been so long since i update something recent, shall post fast ,( hopefully a long post ) before i don't have the feeling. Lessons have resumed , with the whatever bridging programme . i feel like shyt currently, i'm impressed that i can actually be "happy " in school :D trying to keep my feelings and attitude in control recently ! :D it's a good start that i'm trying. hahahah! but , there's still distractions around me. Hope that i can continue to control. Control control control. lolol. Holiday is coming , and i don't have any plans of enjoying currently, probably it's because of .... ANYWAY , i think i'm gotta find a job on weekdays to occupy myself and probably another on weekends to keep my mind off things and numb myself eh? :x that's just dumb. but, i wan moneyyyyy !! money = drinking , Shop spree , movieee !! :D :D . right now , let's just concentrate on working . :D

-4H
i'm sorry . Guys . i know that some of you or probably most of you dislike me right now. trying to change my attitude too. some of you say that when i disiao you guys, and you guys disiao me back , i will bueysong. but the truth is . If that's what you think, means you don't know me well enough. that's my -,- face, but it doesnt mean that i'm pissed . seriously. you guys may say that i'm finding excuses for my mistake or what. but that's the truth. i did'nt take the class photo because i really don't feel like part of the class during that period of time. it's just like the whole world is against me. Family , Friends , Cliques , Other many more problems. i'll understand if you guys are pissed, maybe some of you don't even give a damn. about the IDK what rumours, please just ask me face - face if it's true anot instead of pointing fingers behind me and giving me that 0O look. it's really irratating. i know i'm in the wrong for venting my frusration on you guys (maybe w/o me knowing myself ) and i'm really sorry. it's really awful for me this year. nothing goes right for me. everyone life's is unfair, but mine is totally Fuck up. thanks those who believe me. xx . trust me . i really treasure this class. IDK when you guys will see this post. but i really got a hunch that i'll not make it to sec 5 . Horray to those who loathe me ! :D i'm really really really sorry. you may think that why don't i tell you guys Face- face but i don't have the courage to. sorry.

- Jiahui , Jessery, Jaslin , Rowena , Szechi.
i'm really really really sorry about that incident. i know i;m wrong and awfully stupid and childish about how i deal with it. but. try putting yourself in my shoes. would you like to see someone status which is obviously saying about you flashing in your face? i may be over-sensitive too. ( trying to change that at the moment too ) sorry if i offended you guys. kinda upset with myself for this too. you guys are seriously great friends . blame myself for this outcome. sorry ttm.

and to myself. please control your emotions. please control your thoughts. please control your anger. please control your jealousy. please please. please. Or maybe God would just give me a Pill to make me numb to emotions? :D that would be GREAT . Forget it forget it .. i don't like being a emo freak ass.